The rest of the short guys on the Maxim list.

Here's the rest of the countdown because I know you can't wait any longer.

9. Jon Stewart
Born: 1962
Height: 5'7" (counting the hair)
Claim to fame: Fake news godfather.

I don't pay attention to the news. Even fake news (unless it's about me.)


8. Martin Scorsese
Born: 1942
Height: 5'4"
Claims to fame: Cinema superdirector. Nipple-high to Leonardo DiCaprio.

This is the gangster movie guy. Godfather 3 was a disgrace. Not awesome.

7. Yoda
Born: 900 BSD (Before Senate Dissolved)
Height: 2'2"
Claim to fame: Leader of Jedi he is!

Why is Yoda cool-looking in Episodes 2 and 3, but he's just a cheap K-Mart puppet in Episode 1? That's not awesome.

6. Yuri Gagarin
1934–1968
Height: 5'2"
Claims to fame: First man in space. Teddy-bear-size Cold War mascot.

I don't watch wrestling.

5. Napoleon Bonaparte
1769–1821
Height: 5'4"
Claim to fame: French emperor (considered prestigious at the time).

I liked the movie, but the ending just wasn't believable. The kids still would have voted for Summer Wheatley.

4. Naim Suleymanoglu
Born: 1967
Height: 4'11"
Claim to fame: Olympic weightlifting champ, a.k.a. “Pocket Hercules.”

Note to self: Have lawyer put a trademark on "Pocket Hercules."

3. Spud Webb
Born: 1963
Height: 5'7"
Claim to fame: Won the 1986 NBA Slam Dunk contest with a cannonball-like reverse ka-pow.

I tried that dunk in high-school. Could it have been any easier?

2. Angus Young
Born: 1955
Height: 5'2"
Claim to fame: Satan’s guitarist.

Close but no cigar. If this is Satan's guitarist then I am the Frontman of Evil.

1. Jeremy Bloom
Born: 1982
Height: 5'9 and 7/8 inches"
Claim to fame: Please....

The Bloominator wins again.