Friday, June 15, 2007

Living Large: A list of awesome small dudes and why I am more awesome than all of them.

Here are the top 25 all-time-most-awesome small dudes as composed by Maxim magazine but perfected by yours truly.

25. Doug Flutie
Born: 1962
Height: 5'10"
Claims to fame: Uncorked “the Pass” to beat the evil Miami Hurricanes in 1984. Pro all-star in two different leagues—if you count the CFL.

Flutie Flakes is pretty awesome. Seriously though -- a dropkick? Do I honestly have to explain why I am more awesome?

24. Ross Perot
Born: 1930
Height: 5'7"
Claims to fame: Two folksy/bizarre runs for president. Richer than your entire family tree.

Did he become President? Case closed.

23. John Keats
1795–1821
Height: 5'0"
Claim to fame: Pale poet discovered the power of art—it makes women overlook your complete lack of brawn.

WHO???

22. Ron Jeremy
Born: 1953
Height: 5'6"
Claim to fame: Hardest-working man in porn, claims a résumé about 5,000 women long!

Most awesome Jeremy not named Bloom. (I'm closing in on 8,000, just so you know.)

21. Kurt Cobain
1967–1994
Height: 5'7"
Claims to fame: Leader of Nirvana. Married Earth’s most obnoxious woman.

When was that? 1991? I can think of two more awesome short guys from that year. Names are Kris and Kross. I was like 5 years old and still more awesome.

Almost time for my next workout. To be continued...

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