Monday, August 25, 2008

Pennsylvania doesn't care about Jeremy Bloom.

So, my devoted fans (in the billions at last official count) already know that I was cut from the Pittsburgh Steelers today. Another slight setback in my life, but like Pat Tillman, I thrive on adversity and publicity. The public outcry will be long and loud.

Like the Steelers even gave me a chance? So what if I fair-catch everything? Those guys running at me are big. I had that one end-around where I just got blasted before I reached the line of scrimmage. Hello, blocking?

I'm going to reassess my goals. Maybe football isn't for me. Maybe I am no bigger than the ballboy. Maybe I should ultimately thank the NCAA for denying my request to play at CU while accepting endorsement money. After all, all of that press was what basically got me drafted in the first place. Maybe I am all hype?

Fuck that. Know why? Because I am Jeremy-Fucking-Bloom. I'm an Olympian. I AM football. Now I have two NFL teams that will regret cutting me. You'll see me again, Planet Earth.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Steelers camp 2008: Bloom goes the dynamite!

Been a long time since I posted anything. That's because I have been working harder than ever. I am in line to be the #1 return man and probably the #3 receiver for the Pittsburgh Steers. I have been penciled in to be the Wes Welker of the team. So, by this time next year, you pretty much assume that Wes Welker will be looking to be the Jeremy Bloom of the Patriots.

All eyes on me.

Same story, different day. I attract all of the press. They still want to know all about my skiing career, my modeling career. Basically, just everything that makes me as awesome as I am.

Goals for this year:
Be all the Bloom I can be.
Continue to kick ass.
Release a dove from a ghetto roof-top.
Build a shrine to my own legend and continue to kick ass.

I am the stuff of legend. It's in print.

Published from the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette -- basically another article talking about how much I rule as a skier, model, football player and as a man.

He is a champion skier (Salt Lake City Olympics, 2002) and a male model. "I just try to concentrate on myself and what I can do with the opportunity. I might not have that pedigree of a typical returner, but I can do it and I think I can help as a receiver, too."

In a week in which no one has exactly sprung to the top of the depth chart in the return game, Bloom's quickness stood out. He's got a little wiggle, and his speed is the stuff of Big 12 legend.

After deferring his scholarship to Colorado so that he could make the U.S. Olympic ski team, Bloom returned a punt 75 yards to score the first time he touched the football in college. His biggest plays seemed to come against the fastest opponents, making him conspicuous enough that the Philadelphia Eagles took him in the fifth round of the 2006 draft. He tore a hamstring, got released a year later, and still is working through the difficult physiological transition that afflicts everyone who goes from being a world-class skier to a pro football player, all one of them.

"They couldn't be more different," Bloom said of his two sports. "It's not like comparing football and baseball or football and track. In skiing, you don't run, so all of the little muscles that enable you to run, you kind of take them for granted. And I did."

The Steelers took for granted a year ago that Allan (rhymes with but is not a synonym for awesome) Rossum would solve their disastrous punt-return profile, but Rossum's average of 6.4 yards was downright feeble compared to the league average (9.1), to say nothing of any outrageous comparison to people like Chicago's Devin Hester (15.5) and Buffalo's Roscoe Parrish (16.3). Only the Cincinnati Bengals and Oakland Raiders, who won 11 games between them, averaged fewer yards on punt returns last year than the Steelers.

Bloom settled under punts again yesterday with rookie corner Travis Williams, third-year enigma Willie Reid, who can't seem to catch one without an audible clack from the front of his shoulder pads, and Santonio Holmes, the last human to return a punt for a touchdown in a Steelers uniform (Dec. 17, 2006 at Carolina). Holmes isn't taking a regular turn in that rotation and doubts Tomlin is going to deploy him as such.

Mewelde Moore, the free-agent signee from the Minnesota Vikings, can return kicks and might make a roster spot for Bloom impossible, but he missed practice yesterday with an illness Tomlin didn't identify.

Based on the current karma, perhaps it was an acute ennui.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Part Deux.

So, here's part 2 of my interview. Basically, you can take it for what it is - I have so many fans and so little time.

ASK THE STEELERS – JEREMY BLOOM – PART 2 brings you the Ask the Steelers feature. Fans submitted the questions that were asked. Please understand that we receive an incredible number of questions for each player, with many of the questions being similar, and not all of the questions can be answered. We selected as many as possible, and took your questions to the current subject to get your answers.

From Bill Chiaramonte in Erie, Pennsylvania: What will you bring to the Pittsburgh Steelers as far as attitude and skills?

Jeremy Bloom: My attitude is: There is no job too big and no job too small. My strengths are my speed and quickness.

If they need me to fill in at QB - I can do that. If they need me to be the GM - done. I can sell nachos, too. I make a damn fine nacho.

From Erin Jamison in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania: What is the toughest adjustment to life in the NFL?

Jeremy Bloom: The toughest part was getting my body back in football shape after the 2006 Olympics. It took longer than I expected.

By "longer" I mean about half a day.

From Jennifer Andy in Washington, Pennsylvania: What was the biggest influence when you decided to stick with football over skiing?

Jeremy Bloom: The biggest factor was the challenge that exists in the NFL and my love for the game.

Plus, I'm a known glory-hog. No one cares about skiing right now, so you know, go where the money is right?

From David Brady in Verona, Pennsylvania: What was it like to represent the United States in the Olympics? Was it an amazing experience?

Jeremy Bloom: I wish there were words to accurately describe the amount of honor and accomplishment that I felt in representing our country at the Olympics. Growing up my family was crazy about the Olympics. My dad would cry almost every time an American would win the gold medal. Opening ceremonies at The Salt Lake City Olympics was one of the most magical experiences of my life.

Me > You

From Mark Elridge in San Diego, California: What is the feeling like when waiting at the top of the hill for your race to begin? What goes through your mind?

Jeremy Bloom: It’s a mixture of anxiety, nervousness, and excitement. I would hear the starter count down the skier in front of me and after he would go I would slide into the gate. As soon as I got set in the start gate my mind would become very quite and clear. I wouldn’t have a thought going through my head. It was a great feeling.

This was a football interview, correct?

From Jamie Armond in Dover, Pennsylvania: Did you have any fears of injuries when skiing since it appears to be so fast and easy to get out of control?

Jeremy Bloom: I don’t think it would be human not to have some sort of fear when you are competing in such a dangerous sport. But for me being able to manage and reduce my fear to a minimum has been a very important ingredients to my success.

I fear nothing. Fuck fear.

From Maija Tamminen in Helsinki, Finland: Do you still go skiing just for fun?

Jeremy Bloom: I love to ski and it will always be a part of my life. However, I have not skied since the Olympics. I am committed to reaching my full potential in the NFL right now and I don’t want to jeopardize this opportunity.

Hello, football? Yes, skiing is awesome, yadda, yadda, yadda....

From Sarah Burke in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania: Have you had a chance to look at the Steelers schedule and does it surprise you how tough it is being that it’s ranked near the top of strength of schedule in the NFL?

Jeremy Bloom: Nobody knows who is going to be good next year. Just because a team had success last year doesn’t mean that they will be successful this year. On top of that, this is the NFL.

Just in case you had this all confused with the NBA or MLB or Skiing. This is the NFL.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Jeremy Bloom > Wes Welker

That's right. This is only part 1 of an interview with the good people of the Pittsburgh Steelers. Part 1 of what I assume is a 12 part series. There's a lot to cover after all. Enjoy. I have added some additional comments after reflecting on these questions.

Ask The Steelers: Jeremy Bloom Part 1
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
ASK THE STEELERS – JEREMY BLOOM – PART 1 brings you the Ask the Steelers feature. Fans submitted the questions that were asked. Please understand that we receive an incredible number of questions for each player, with many of the questions being similar, and not all of the questions can be answered. We selected as many as possible, and took your questions to the current subject to get your answers.

From Paul Arnold in Jacksonville, Florida: What are you doing when you are waiting for a punt or kickoff and the ball is in the air? What is the first thing you do once you catch it?

Jeremy Bloom: The first thing that I do is read the kickers alignment. Most kickers and punters have a pre-snap indicator that tells you what direction they are attempting to kick the ball. The second thing I do is read the spin and arch of the ball. This tells you how deep and what direction the ball will go. The third thing I do is catch the ball and run like a prosecutor that is being chased by eleven convicts.

That last one was pretty witty wasn't it? More like - I run like I am being chased by every NCAA lawyer - and they still can't fucking catch me. I can read the punters and kickers like a fucking book, by the way. By the way, another tip is to stay close to the sidelines in case you need to escape certain death. Those NFL guys are big.

From SSgt Justin Podomnik, Tyndall Air Force Base Panama City, Florida: What is the most important thing you have learned from being injured that you could pass on to others in the same situation?

Jeremy Bloom: First and foremost thank you for you service to our country. You men and woman are true heroes and your fearless commitment to our country inspires me.

My lawyers advised me to write that. Their commitment, of course, does inspire me. Honestly, nothing inspires me more than my own speed. I'm fucking fast.

The most important thing that I realized during the time that I was injured was how much opportunity it gave me. It gave me time to study the game and to watch guys like Steve Smith and Santana Moss. It gave me time to work on my weaknesses and polish my strengths. It certainly came with its mental challenges. It’s easy to begin to have thoughts of doubt when you are injured. “Will I be able to make a full recovery”, “Am I becoming forgotten about”, “Do they think I’m soft”….ect. These thoughts are normal and it’s how you deal with them that will define your recover and the type of person you are.

What the hell am I rambling about here? No one forgets Jeremy Bloom. No one thinks I'm soft. I'm hardcore. Like 3rd Bass hardcore.

From Randall Welsh in Orlando, Florida: Is it harder to train physically and mentally for the Olympics or to get ready for a NFL season?

Jeremy Bloom: Physically football is more difficult. There is nothing like training camp, it’s a total beast. Mentally they both have their challenges. For me, the circumstances were very different. The two times that I prepared for the Olympics I was doing so as one of the top ranked skiers in the world. In football I am trying to do scrap and claw my way just to break away from the pack. Both bring different mental challenges.

Life is really no challenge for me. I had to put this answer into perspective. Like, what would John Q. Regular Guy say here?

From Greg Forbes in Atlanta, Georgia: Is there something about skiing that makes you specially adept in returning punts and kicks?

Jeremy Bloom: Not really, I use to think the two sports were similar but have later found out that they are completely different.

That was the stupidest question ever asked. Come on, Greg Forbes. Is there something about riding a bike that makes you especially adept at playing guitar? What does that have to do with the tea in China?

From Jason Mitchell in Byesville, Ohio: Does skiing help you with vision and maneuverability during kick and punt returns?

Jeremy Bloom: Yes and no, but training your eyes to pick up fast moving object is very important in any sport. There are many ways that you can do this. The next time you play catch close one of your eyes while standing on one foot. Or purposely blur your eyes and try and catch the ball. These exercises can help your peripheral vision, balance and your depth perception. But if the ball hits you in the face don’t blame me.

Also, squinting my eyes very hard can often make opposing defenders fall over. It's been proven. I have the eyes of a fucking dreadhawk. I am working on the ability to purposely blur my entire body to confuse defenses, etc.

From Teddy Simon in Santa Cruz, California: Do you think you could develop into a "Wes Walker" type receiver and broaden the offense?

Jeremy Bloom: I’m a big fan of Wes’s and love the way he plays the game. There isn’t any doubt in my mind that given the opportunity I can develop into that type of player.

Jeremy Bloom > Wes Welker.

From Reese Bang in Richland, Washington: Knowing what you know now about the level of competition in the NFL, in hindsight, would you have put a greater emphasis upon your college football career?

Jeremy Bloom: I put a huge emphasis on my college football career. The NCAA was the reason that I wasn’t able to play my junior and senior year. I was devastated when they declared me permanently ineligible and ended my opportunity to be the number one receiver my junior and senior year.

Fucking NCAA. When I think of all the white upper/middle class kids out there that are getting screwed over like me, I get sick to my tight abs. No, you can't accept a shitload of modeling money to ski and STILL be a scholarship athlete. Pick one. What? Limiting the opportunities, that's all the NCAA is good for. Next thing you know, they'll be saying I should be happy anyone gave a damn about this because it made me a headline and helped me get press and interviews and more money and get drafted or whatever...

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Oh, what the hell?

Limas Sweed? WR from Texas? What a waste of a pick. Get in line, son.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

and with the 23rd pick, the Steelers select....

Richard Menthanol? Never heard of him.

Draft Day!

Football is officially back! The Steelers will be making their move toward NFL dominance starting today in the draft. Needless to say, no WR will be picked. I mean, there's me and Hines Ward and Santonio Holmes. No needs at WR.

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Did you catch me on Saturday Night Live?

I play the oil man's son, H.W.

Monday, February 18, 2008