Who the hell is Steve Van Buren?

OK, so my number in college was 15. That's how everyone knows me (especially all the goofs reading it on my back as they try to chase me down..touchdown Bloom! anyway...) Well, last year I'm getting fitted for all of my equipment (you know, getting my "Eagle" on.) and the balloon-head says this:

"#15 is retired, you can't have it."

"Yeah, good one, this is the rookie hazing I hear all about right?" This balloon-head just stares at me and points to a picture of some dinosaur on the wall wearing my number. "Steve Van Buren? Who the hell is that? Can I just get that 15 in a size 40? I need to call my agent."

The guy must not have heard me.

"Here you go." He hands me a jersey.

"#11? Try again, but this time, give me the '11' that says '15.' Gracias. (it's cool to be mulit-lingual.)

"Look, Steve Van Buren is in the Hall of Fame. One of the most famed Eagles of all time. Take the 11 and beat it."

Now, at this point, I'm expecting Ashton Kutcher to pop out from somewhwere. Damn, I think, I've been punk'd! Then, I realize that this guy is serious. I can't have 15. Apparently, Dick Van Patten was an actual player. Yeah, from when, 1895? I could see that this was going to take some serious doing.

"Well then, I guess we will have to unretire it, won't we?" My steel blue eyes are probably looking extra steely now.

Anyway, long story short, 11 is way cooler than 15. When they retire 11, who's going to look like an ass? Yeah, that Norm Van Patrick guy and the out-of-work equipment manager. Still thinking about suing the Eagles though. This is bull-crap.