Top 10 fastest receivers?

According to Sports Illustrated, anyway. Notice anything? Yeah, I'm not on the list. Here's my take on it.

1. Devin Hester
This guy is a true thorn in my side. WR? I thought he was still a horrible CB. Fuck him. I'm faster.

2. Ted Ginn, Jr.
Did you hear all those boos on draft day, Ted? Can't run away from those.

3. Santana Moss
I'm faster.

4. Troy Williamson
Yep. I'm faster.

5. Lee Evans
This just in: I'm faster than you.

6. Roy Williams
Ha Ha! You play form the Lions! Oh, yeah, and I'm faster.

7. Steve Smith
My mentor. Awesome dude. Can't say enough good things about him. P.S. I'm faster.

8. Calvin Johnson
Another dude from the Lions? Fast? Well, he had better be because he's going to be chasing down a lot of DB's after Kitna throws his usual 5 picks per game.

9. Bernard Berrian
How would we know if this guy is fast? Grossman fumbles the snap before any of his receivers can get 5 yards out of their route.

10. Donte' Stallworth
If Donte' was so fast, why is he no longer an Eagle - and I am? Answer: I'M FUCKING FASTER!