#20-#15 on the awesome short dudes list.

20. Prince
Born: 1958
Height: 5'2"
Claims to fame: Only pop artist who can sing about female “self-service,” strut around in a purple suit half his life, and still be considered the Man.

Wait, are they talking about me here?

19. Bruce Lee
1940–1973
Height: 5'7"
Claim to fame: Passive-aggressive ass-kicker brought martial arts to the round-eye.

Wax-on, wax-off. Paint the fence. Sand the floor. Kiss my ass.

18. Jeff Gordon
Born: 1971
Height: 5'7"
Claim to fame: Cali golden boy showed NASCAR’s cracker power base how to win their own races.

Slow, short guy who needs big car to make him fast. Me? Just my own two legs, baby.

17. David Eckstein
Born: 1975
Height: 5'7"
Claim to fame: St. Louis Cardinals shortstop (seriously!) looks like a five-year-old but owns World Series jewelry.

Oh, come on. This one is made up, right?

16. T. E. Lawrence
1888–1935
Height: 5'5"
Claims to fame: Helped liberate the Middle East from colonial oppressors. Set up awesome countries like Iraq. (Thanks!)

Iraq is not awesome, and neither is this guy.


15. David Ben-Gurion
1886–1973
Height: 5'0"
Claim to fame: Founder of the State of Israel.

Can I sue Maxim for boring me to death with this list? I'll give it a shot.