'Tis the season

It's that time of year again. The Holidays. I finished my 95th set of military push-ups, and I was thinking about what I've been thankful for and what I am hopeful for this holiday season.

I'm thankful that I am as awesome as I am.
I'm thankful that I am kick-ass.
I'm thankful that I can run faster than Devin Hester on his best day.

I'm hopeful for peace on Earth, and...

I'm hopeful that all coaches and GM's in the NFL pull their heads out of their collective asses and sign me to a freaking contract already!

I'm in the best shape of my life. My toe is no longer injured. In fact, it's now impervious to all injury.

Wouldn't I make a nice addition to any NFL team looking for a return man? Yes, I agree, I would.

I haven't gone away.

Click-Clack

I think you hear me coming....